


Body What Now???

by TiredTM



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Body Modification, F/F, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-23 18:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15612138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredTM/pseuds/TiredTM
Summary: Different Undertale monsters discover a variety of body modifications. Reactions vary.





	1. Papyrus Discoveres Hair Dye

Shortly after the monsters began reintegrating into surface life, certain details about humans began to arise. For one, they were all so different, despite being all members of the same species! Different sizes, different shapes, different skin and hair colors, and so much more! There seem to be a lot of basics similarities between most humans, but…  
“WOWIE! HUMAN, MAY I ASK, IS PINK HAIR COMMON AMONGST HUMANS?” Papyrus asked, excited to learn more about humans.  
“Yeah, I guess. There are a lot of different shades of pink, and every other color that exists, really.”  
“WOW! THAT'S SO COOL, I HAD NO CLUE HUMANS COULD HAVE SO MANY HAIR COLORS!”  
“Well, yeah. Can be a pain though, dye can really damage your hair…”  
“DYE? WhHAT IS THIS DYE YOU SPEAK OF?”  
“Oh, it is a paste or liquid that is designed to change the color of a material it is applied to. It’s used on clothes, food, drinks, hair, skin, and other things too.”  
“SO, HUMANS AREN'T BORN WITH THESE HAIR COLORS?”  
“Nope. We choose to change them. It’s fun and an easy way to express yourself. Some people are born with white hair, but that's really rare.”  
“WOWIE, THAT'S INTERESTING! THANK YOU FOR ANSWERING MY QUESTIONS HUMAN!”  
“No problem.”


	2. Mettaton Discovers Fake Nails

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton finds out fake nails are a thing. He digs it.

“Darling, your nails are GORGEOUS!!!” Mettaton exclaimed, after noticing that the person in line for an autograph had long, sharpened nails that were painted black with pink soul and gem decals.   
“Thank you! I painted and shaped them myself, it took _ages._ ”  
“So you use paint? How do you shape them? I NEED to know.”  
“Oh, I use nail polish! It’s usually next to makeup in stores. And you can buy fake nails, they come in all sorts of lengths and sizes. Or you can get them done professionally. You can find lots of tutorials and such online.”  
“AMAZING DARING!!! I have GOT to try this!”  
“Awesome! It can be a bit hard to do a lot of things with such long nails, just to warn you.”  
“Thank you darling. I can’t wait to have such wondrous nails!”  
-LATER-  
“Alphys daaaaarrrrling, I need your help! I want fake nails, ASAP!”  
“S-s-should I ask why?”  
“No, just make it happen!!!”  
“F-f-f-fine, M-mettaton.”  
“I want them long, pointy, and pink.”  
“Ugh, fine. You could p-probably use a t-t-tuneup a-anyway.”

One week later, Mettaton’s social media accounts were taken over by pics of himself showing off his new nails.


	3. Sans discovers Spit Tongues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans discovers that humans like to split their tongues. Sans does not understand.

“Do ya want me to ask for the bartender’s number for ya? Cause he’s pretty _hot._ ”  
Grillby sighs and walks away slowly. I stick my tongue out at Sans, only for him to look at me oddly.  
“Dude, I didn’t know humans could have forked tongues. That’s cool.”  
“Oh, yeah. We aren’t born that way though, it’s a choice.”  
“So…. humans will cut their tongues nearly in half?? _Why?_ ”  
“It looks cool. And it freaks people out.”  
“Doesn’t it hurt though?”  
“It does in the beginning. You get stuck on soft, bland food for awhile too. It hasn’t hurt in ages though.”  
“That sucks. Humans are weird…”  
“And some people do it themselves-”  
“What? _Why?_ Are they _stupid_? Please tell me you didn’t do this.”  
“Course not! I actually paid extra to be sedated and have the wound cauterized so I couldn’t rip out any stitches.”  
“Dude, I am concerned about your sanity.”  
“Most people are.”  
Later  
*Grillby asks Sans if he should be worried


	4. Undyne Discovers Scarification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Undyne is very intrigued by a human's weird scar patterns. So, she investigates.

It was a normal day for Undyne, she was shopping with her girlfriend Alphys when out of the corner of her eye she spotted something… Odd.  
“Hey Alphys, look at this human’s scars. They’re so WEIRD.”  
“U-undyne, you can’t j-just c-call people’s scars w-weird, it-it’s rude.”  
“But Alphys, look! They’re SHAPED! They have a pattern!”  
“S-still n-no reason t-to ask the-”  
“I’M GONNA ASK THEM ABOUT IT!!”  
“U-undyne, don’t!”  
“Hey, human! What’s up with your scars? That’s an interesting pattern, it’s fucking badass!”  
“Undyyyne! You c-c-can’t just ask that! I-i’m really sorry…”  
“No, it’s okay!” the human said.  
“I get a lot of questions about it. It isn’t a normal scar, it’s called scarification. It’s where skin is removed to create a pattern, it’s huge in my culture. Everyone in my family has some form of scarification, but a lot of people aren’t very knowledgeable about it.”  
“Whoa… so you get someone to do this to you? NEAT!! Not quite as neat as getting scars in battle, but it’s still badass!”  
“S-sounds p-painful. And dangerous.”  
“Well, it does hurt. And it can be dangerous, but my family and I always go to a professional and make sure to follow aftercare instructions.”  
“THAT’S AWESOME!! I WOULDN’T MIND GETTING SOME DONE MYSELF!”  
“N-NO, Undyne. You have p-plenty of s-scars already, and I s-swear y-you manage t-to get m-m-more daily.”  
“BUT ALPHYS!”  
“N-n-no buts, U-undyne.”  
“Okay. I won’t. It’s still cool though. See ya, human, thanks for tellin me!”


	5. Asgore Discovers Horn Implants

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exactly what the title says. Asgore finds out that horn implants are a thing.

Asgore was making a quick trip to the market to pick up some fertilizer, tulip bulbs, and a variety of small household necessities. He had gathered most of what he needed, when he saw a human standing next to the succulents, with what looked like…  
Wait…  
Are those horns?????  
“Um, excuse me for bothering you, but… are those horns?”  
“Yep, they are. Cool, huh? Not as impressive as yours of course, but my head and neck couldn’t support the weight of really big horns.”  
“Pardon for me for asking, but are horns common among humans?”  
“No, they aren’t. They’re pretty expensive, and getting them implanted is a pain. Not to mention you get judged a lot if you have them. Humans can be awfully nosy and think they have a say in what others do.”  
“Oh. So humans aren’t born with horns? They pay someone to place them? I must admit, that isn’t something I had considered possible.”  
“I mean, maybe a human or two have been born with horns? We’re a weird bunch, it wouldn’t surprise me. They probably get removed after birth if that happens though. And humans will pay for all sorts of things like horn implants. If there’s something we can do to change our body, chances are it’s been done.”  
“Hmmm. Interesting. Thank you for indulging me, young one. I appreciate learning more about humans.”  
“No prob! Have a good day!”  
“And to you, human.”  
 _Humans with horns… who could have thought?_


End file.
